I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
