So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
