I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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