just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
