they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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