Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
MIDGETS
????
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
