Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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