I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I am one with the molecules
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
