Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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