Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I don't deserve a penis
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
