Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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