I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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