I love black thongs
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
