...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just had sex on a roof
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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