Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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