if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
