Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
