i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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