wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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