YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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