Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
