You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
