So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
