At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
