You really coming over, don't trick.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
