ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I have demons in me.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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