i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
