you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
