omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
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