either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
