The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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