Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
