There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
