Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
