Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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