She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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