Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
