The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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