If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
