Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize