I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
