her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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