seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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