i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
