So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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