at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
