he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
