Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
