this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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