Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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