you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
