I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
