You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
