My nipple is on Facebook.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
