We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
