Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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