My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize