and next time when you feel me up, do it right
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
