I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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