Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
A bitchslap is in order.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
