i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
