what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
