I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
