I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
