your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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