Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
