Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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