So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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