doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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