So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
