I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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