I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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